Meditation for Dads

People often hear the word meditation and get scared. They think it is some zen/religious practice that they want no part of. Others think it is a waste of time. And still, there are those who just plain think it’s weird to do. Or they don’t have time. Or they don’t have space. But in fact – meditation – especially meditation for dads – is an important practice to bring into your life.

Meditation, as defined by Wikipedia, is “a mental discipline whereby the practitioner attempts to get beyond the reflexive “thinking” mind into a deeper state of relaxation and awareness.” In other words, it is going to your “happy place”.

Mental health is often overlooked when people want to try to get healthy. And let’s face it – mental health as part of a health practice while being a dad – is nearly non existent. Between the yelling kids, PMSing wife, busy work schedule, trying to make ends meet, running off to the next god-knows-what event – when some tell me about watching my mental health, or ‘self-care’ I just grin – while laughing inside.

But – mental health is important. It is a huge aspect of health and wellness that people often miss. I am hoping to help bring that back.

Meditation For Dads

Let’s start with the very basics of meditation: RELAXING. You remember that right?

Relaxing is an important part of being healthy. It reduces stress and clears the mind for increased mental health. And you don’t have to sit cross-legged on the floor humming in order to reach this state. Think of a place where you go that you are completely relaxed. Some people meditate in silence. Others in noise. Some in the gym. Others outside. Some by themselves. Others with people around. It all depends on you!

Meditation is nothing more than blocking every stress that you have in the world out, if only for a moment, and focusing on relaxing and letting nothing get to you. You are in the moment. Flow. Peace. Runner’s high. It’s all meditation. You can also get it from just sitting in silence, and watching your breathing.

How To Meditate

As mentioned above, meditation is really just forgetting the world and being in the NOW – the only moment we have. That can be found in plenty of places. But for today’s concept – let’s find a way where you can do it wherever, whenever. Let’s find a quick way to focus on the present moment, leave whatever stress is currently nagging us – and clear our mind.

The best way to do this is in a quiet room – in the dark – sitting with your eyes closed. Ya, I have 2 kids too – that isn’t happening. If you can – great. If not – try taking a walk. If you can’t – into the bathroom (without your phone!) and see if you can squeeze a meditation session in instead of squeezing something else out.

Whatever you choose – the process is the same.

What I want you to do is to breathe. In and out through the nose. Feel where the breaths are coming in. For me – that is right in the back of my nose. Beautiful cold breaths. In – and out. Now, go a bit slower – continuing to focus on that spot where you feel the breath – nowhere else. Don’t think about your day, your work, your wife, your kids, nothing else – those can come later. Right now – this is for you. Focus on that breath. Feel. Now go a bit longer – deeper. Keep feeling it. Have that rhythm? Good – now take 10 breathes at this rhythm – big slow in – relax long out. That’s one. Repeat 9 times.

After 10 – get up – and get back to work.

Feel any different? My guess is if this is the first time ever trying something like this – the answer is no. Sure, you may feel a little more relaxed – but this isn’t an immediate fix. THis is something that takes time. The more you do it, the better relaxation response you will have, and quicker you can overcome the stressors of the day in just one moment.

Now – clearly – the longer you do this for – say 50 breathes, or 20 minutes, or whatever that is – the more benefit you will get out of it. But that doesn’t mean a quick 2-minute drill on taking a moment to be in the moment won’t help you relax, refresh, and re-engage on the task that you need to be done.

Stress will kill you. It is unhealthy. And us stubborn men usually don’t have a good way to quickly relieve stress. We may save it for some end of the day weights, or a good long run, but we typically don’t have any ways to remove stress in the moment of overwhelm. Stress doesn’t solve any problem you have in your life. What solves it is taking a moment, taking some breaths, and clearing your mind.

Give it a shot – even if it doesn’t work on clearing your mind – the absolute worst it can do is give you a minute. And as a busy dad – that is priceless sometimes.