{"id":311,"date":"2023-03-30T04:05:54","date_gmt":"2023-03-30T04:05:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/fitdadblog.com\/?p=311"},"modified":"2023-03-30T04:05:55","modified_gmt":"2023-03-30T04:05:55","slug":"life-is-suffering","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fitdadblog.com\/life-is-suffering\/","title":{"rendered":"Life Is Suffering"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I started this site back in 2020 before the world turned into a new world. I was tired of being sick and tired and fat, so I started working out again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And with a background in health<\/a> and fitness, and a passion in personal development, I was going to help others to do the same because I was going to get these INSANE results. I was going to share my knowledge with the world. I was going to be the guy that official gets rid of the dad bod. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then 2020 happen. And I stayed fat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then 2021 rolled in, and I was going to get it again. But I stayed fat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then 2022 rolled in – this is it. This is my year. Watch out world – here comes the 6 pack!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yeah – I don’t think so. Same ol sh*t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So finally – 2023 rolled around and I was finally fed up with life. Like all aspects of it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was living a still <\/em>life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Year after year – I was STILL. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

STILL overweight. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

STILL out of shape. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

STILL making the same money. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

STILL at the same level of relationship with my wife. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

STILL the same dad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

STILL on the same level of my work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

STILL frustrated. STILL dreaming. STILL wishing. STILL hoping there is a better life for me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I was so fed up with it. Like to the point I couldn’t sleep<\/a>. I can’t tell you exactly what exactly flipped in my mind this time – there wasn’t a straw to break the camels back – except for maybe me actually taking this shit seriously for the first time in my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This was all early december. I was ready to go come 1\/1. Dedicated. Passionate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then here comes 2023 – and you know what happened? I actually did it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I got in the gym. I actually started pushing heavy weights for the first time in nearly a decade. I subscribed to Carbon app to help with my calorie management. I quit drinking alcohol. I shopped for myself. I was in control on by diet<\/a>. I was hitting cardio 5x days a week. Diet was on point. Gym was on point. Mindset was on point. I was actually doing it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pounds were flying off. I started at 204 and 4 weeks into I was 195. But I was starting to build muscle. I no longer had a double chin. Work was paying off so much people were starting to notice. I was at my son’s baseball tryouts and I had a guy I know who is a beast of a human being ask me if I am losing weight and that I am starting to fill out a shirt. It was a huge compliment from him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Confidence was through roof. I planned a date with my wife to see Niko Moon at a small venue here in San Diego. I went out and bought a new outfit – skinny jeans (I have never been a skinny jean guy), plain tee shirt and a bomber jacket. The wife noticed. I actually even bought cologne to wear – like who am I? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is it. This is the year I change. Success breeds success and I am flying high. Since I was off the booze my sleep was on point. I was recovering the way I needed to. Hitting the gym every morning pushing more and more weight. Getting the right supplements. Macros were perfect nearly everyday. I was going to restraunts and ordering food the way I needed it to be cooked. I am researching ahead of time and know exactly what I was going to get. Extra time was spend reading about relationships, mindset, growth instead of looking down the end of a bottle. I am flying high and hitting everying I wanted to. I am on my way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then Feburary 5th hit. I get a text from a dear friend of mine for over 20 years: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

Guys, I don’t know how else to tell you this, but Staci died yesterday. There was an accident a week where she hit her head. She’d been in the hospital all week and looked to be recovering, but started taking a turn for the worst on Thursday. I lost the love of my life at 4pm yesterday. The girls and I are devastated. <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I stood there. Just staring at it. My wife was also on the text, and I hear here running out<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

That’s not real, right?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I looked at her. Look at the message. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Matt is one of my longest friends. Staci was his beautiful wife – just a shining light to the world. They have 2 daughters – just as beautiful as Staci – the same age as my boys. We saw them just 3 weeks earlier. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was stunned. Actually – I am stunned still. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I decided that it would be a good idea to go out and get one of Staci’s favorite beers and pour one back in her honor. So I did. Racer 5 IPA. After 36 days no booze, and missing a dear friend, it was an amazing beer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it put me down an unhealthy path. I couldn’t cope with everything. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That isn’t true. I didn’t know how to cope so I went back to my old ways of coping. Booze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Booze turned into rough mornings. Turned into shitty workouts. Turned into poor diet. Turned into shitty sleep. Turned into no more cardio. Turned into back to 204 within 2 weeks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I honestly don’t know what I am telling the world all this. Except for the fact that maybe I actually want to be real on this site for once and not post the same old motivational shit that we all hear everyday. Maybe not post a fitness site though the lens that “Hey – look at me – everythign is awesome and you can be too”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life is a struggle. And a rough one at that. We all have high hopes and aspirations – big goals we want to accomplish. But we stil year after year after year being the SAME person – being the STILL person. Still broke. Still fat. Still mad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then – just went we finally get the momentum that we have been waiting YEARS to get. Just when we start getting our stride. Just went we find our way – life comes and serves up another gut wrenching loss that makes it hard to do anything else but contemplate the cruel world we live in. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of your dearest friends just lost his wife and the mother of his kids – how can you not think that the world is a fucked up place and ponder why you do the shit you do – and what is the actual point of anything. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But like an onion – there are layers to be peeled back. You just have to keep peeling until you find the layer that is meaningful to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So here I am – 17 days sober again. Back in the gym. Back on the diet. Back getting the results. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will I fall off the wagon again? Yeah – I could almost bet money on that. Because life is a cruel bitch. Life is suffering. It will shake you to your core just to test your will. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And you will fall off. Maybe for an hour. Maybe for a day. Maybe for 5 weeks. Maybe for 5 years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as long as you are breathing – you have a chance to get back on it. As long as you can put your feet on the earth – you can take on the day. As long as you can feel the warmth of the sun on your skin – you can get back at it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I honestly have no idea why I wrote this, how I wrote this, or who needs to hear this. It quite literally just came out of me. But maybe that is the point. I have always wanted to get back to writing on this site in a more real way, not just a way that gets readers to the site. Maybe this was it. Maybe no one will ever read it. Regardless – I think I needed this post more than anyone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To your health. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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